mpregbert: gloomysandwichgirl: There’s no food in my house *dying whale noise* whale: there is no krill in the ocean *teenage girl noise*
khaillou: Jehovah Witnesses don’t celebrate halloween I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
phenste: carly rae jepsen is older than lady gaga let that sink in
fruitgushers: 3ridan: what if there is no such thing as sex and everyone is lying and as soon as we all turn 18 the goverment turn up and hand over a baby in a bottle and we have to keep it a secret or we die and when we want to get pregnant we spray baby in a bottle up our vaginas and whenever someone lets loose that sex is a lie the goverment kills them and calls it suicide or a gas leak and...
catsinbutter: today at work a young hispanic man was having trouble with the bottle machine he was using so i stayed outside with him to help unjam it and help with the bottles and when he was done a bunch of gangsters showed up who knew him apparently and he shook my hand and they were all like ”eeyy you alright man you alright. you ever need anyting you let us know aint nobody gun fuck wit...
textposter2: TODAY: Local homosexual runs rampant through city neighborhoods— breaking into houses and violently redecorating furniture. More at 11.
brachiosaurs: improbablenormality: caraknightley: puffer fish are so cute when they arent inflated they just look like theyre smiling all the time aw TRY TO PET ME NOW, MOTHERFUCKER! I’m sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to see what you’d do.
silenthill: so michael phelps is going to retire after the london olympics apparently they’re releasing him to the ocean, back to his natural habitat
Tumblr Gets Deep
adorpted: i’m glad you could figure out how to spell your tags correctly
coolpup: where is dr peppers medical license
annawintour: it’s sad that half the time the shit joan rivers is wearing on fashion police looks a thousand times worse than the stuff she makes fun of
nicolascagefanblog: avalar: oh god he’s at it again should be the official video for the song
elisimogen: Remember that time Chad did an entire dance number about how he doesn’t dance
Daughter: dad I'm a lesbian
Dad: it's cool
Second daughter: dad I'm a lesbian too
Dad: Christ, doesn't anyone in this family love cock?
Son: I do